The Gift of Motherhood

When my husband and I first married, we dreamed about what our family would look like someday. We’d talk of little girls to dress in pink, and boys to dress in blue. We agreed that two would be nice, a boy and a girl, or just maybe three…we’d have to see. We decided that in three to five years we’d be ready to start this family that we dreamed of…of course, I meant three years and my husband meant five. When three years rolled around, I decided I was ready to take this next step in our lives and start a family. I talked to my husband and was surprised to find out that he had really meant five years…I couldn’t believe he wasn’t as ready as I was to begin this new journey. So we waited, and we prayed, and we discussed what having a baby would mean to us. And then, one day, while we were on a vacation touring the East Coast, he gave me a card and said…”I’m ready”. My heart was overjoyed, and I immediately began making plans. I couldn’t wait until the day that we found out our wish had come true.

So we waited, and we prayed, and we discussed all the ins and outs of adding a baby to our family. And then we waited some more. And some more. And some more. Suddenly, this dream of having a family seemed a little farther out of reach. I began to cry, every month, when our dream didn’t happen. And I began to resent the hurtful questions thrown at me every time we went to church. “When are you guys going to start a family?” “Hey, you’re getting behind…your brother already has two…Don’t you want to have a baby?” As I pretended to not care, my heart was breaking. My whole life I had dreamed of being a mother. I decided not to go to medical school because I wanted to be a mom. Suddenly, I began to wonder, “Who will I be if I can’t be a mother? It’s all I want…I don’t dream anymore of a big career. I just want a baby to love and raise.” The months went by and nothing happened. Finally, the doctor I was seeing agreed to help us (their policy was you had to wait a whole year before they would intervene). After several more months of treatment, and several more negative pregnancy tests that absolutely broke my heart, and after switching to a much more compassionate doctor, we received the news that, at long last, we were expecting.

The joy that filled my heart was indescribable. I walked around in a daze for several weeks, in absolute disbelief that God had answered our prayers. I remember thanking God over and over again, delighted that we would finally have our family. As the months passed and my belly grew, I laughed in delight at the miracle inside me. And when that amazing day finally came, and my sweet little daughter was placed in my arms, I was absolutely overcome with gratitude toward the God who had allowed me to become a mother. I knew without a doubt, this was the best gift in the world, and I was ready to give everything I had to protect and cherish this tiny little girl named Molly.

I didn’t know if we would ever be able to have another child, but God was gracious to us. Almost four years later, He blessed us with a son, and two years after that, He blessed us again with another daughter. I look at my precious children and I am so thankful. I can’t imagine my life without any of them. Our children are a priceless gift from the Lord and we are humbled that He chose us to raise them.

When I look around at our society, and I see babies discarded as unwanted trash, and children being treated with harshness and impatience by their mothers, my heart grieves. I believe that God views children as a blessing, and we often receive them as a curse. He intended for us to love and cherish these precious little ones, and to honor the role of motherhood. Instead, our society has deceived us into believing that we should value careers and money and possessions over the noble calling of motherhood. We’ve devalued something that God says is beautiful, and elevated worthless things in its place. What a shame…I wonder sometimes what blessings we’ve missed out on because of these choices.

So, this Mother’s Day, I will hold my head high and be proud of the role I have chosen. I will look at my most precious gifts (named Molly, Noah and Lexi), and I will thank my Heavenly Father from the bottom of my heart for the incredible privilege of being their mom. I will also thank Him for the lovely lady that I call “Mom”, and for all that she has taught me about being a godly mother who delights in her children. And I will do my very best to teach my children to embrace God’s view of babies and motherhood and pray that someday, they, too, will accept with joy God’s calling to be parents.

A Father's Love

When I was a little girl, my daddy filled many roles in my life. He was my protector, my champion, my playmate. He kept me in line with just a look of disapproval, guarded what came into our house and family, and showed me what real love looks like. He taught me that the most important thing in the world was to love God and walk in His ways. He showed me what compassion means, demonstrating a servant spirit by the way he helped anyone and everyone who crossed his path, even if it was inconvenient. He always took time to teach me things, to hear my stories, and to listen. He made many sacrifices to provide us what we needed, and often what we wanted, even if it cost him dearly. To this day, I know that he would do anything for me or for my family. He is a beautiful picture of a father’s love.

When I grew up, I met the man of my dreams. It only took one date for me to know that this was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Three and a half years later, we were married, and five years after that, our first child was born. Little did I know that the love I felt for this incredible man would be multiplied many times the instant I laid eyes on him holding our first child. He took to being a daddy instantly, not fearing the dirty diapers or late night rocking. He spent hours just holding our babies, then reading them books, playing cars and watching movies. He works hard every day at a job that is very demanding just to provide for me and our children. He never complains about getting up at 5:30 every morning, while the rest of us are sleeping. He, too, would sacrifice anything to protect and provide for his children, and his deepest desire is to see them grow up to serve and love Jesus. He loves being a daddy, and he is amazingly good at it. My heart melts when I see him with our children, when I hear their laughter as he teases them and when he encourages them to be all that God has planned for them. He, too, is a beautiful picture of a father’s love.

As if that weren’t enough, I am also blessed with a Heavenly Father who loves me. He exemplifies all these things I have seen in my husband and my dad. He, too, has sacrificed everything to take care of me…even at the cost of His beloved Son, Jesus. He did this so that I could be with Him forever, so that I would never have to be separated from Him by my sin. He forgives me, is patient with me, and He wants to spend time with me. He has given me an earthly father, and a husband to father my children, so that I can see a tangible picture of who He is and what a Father’s love looks like.

Because these two men love the Lord with all their hearts, He has been able to use them to bless me and my children. So, on this Father’s Day, I want to honor the men who have shown me the Father’s love. Dad, I love you, and I’m grateful for all that you have done for me. I just want to say thank you for all the sacrifices you made to give Scott and me a great life, and for the example of Jesus’ love that is so evident in your life. Thanks for loving me unconditionally and for loving my husband and children the same way. Alan, you are the best husband and father any woman could ever dream of having, and I am so thankful for you. I love the way you are passionate about being a father and the way you are so purposeful about our family life. I appreciate how hard you work and how you provide for us without complaining. I am so blessed by the way you support me in our homeschooling, not with pats on the back but with rolled up sleeves and an attitude of “how can I help?” You are an amazing man, and I am abundantly blessed to get to be the one who walks by your side in this journey of life.

Most of all, I praise the Father of all Creation, who has blessed me with these men and given me a picture of the Father’s heart…it is beautiful indeed.

Bless You, Mom

One of the greatest blessings God bestowed on me came in the form of a petite, quiet, gentle-spirited woman. She never held any high-powered job, although she is extremely intelligent. She was never rich in material possessions and never sought after fame or fortune. She was content to “feather her nest” and make a wonderful home for her loving husband and two sometimes appreciative children. She lovingly cooked our meals, sewed us lovely clothes, and played dolls and baseball and board games without complaint. She kept her house tidy and organized and drove us to baseball games and play practices, youth groups and music lessons. She submissively served her husband and packed our household and moved us cross-country more than once, even when it was not what she wanted. She took care of us when we were sick (which in my case, was a lot!), dried our tears and shared our laughter. Our friends wanted to play at our house because she was so welcoming. They wanted to eat at our house because she was such a good cook. Most of all, they just wanted to be included in her circle of loving…and she always complied, even if she was tired, or had a headache, or just wanted to be alone.

Without her, I don’t know who I would be. She inspired me to respect and desire the role of motherhood. She taught me to love my Heavenly Father and desire to serve Him first. She taught me what a quiet and gentle spirit looks like in real life. She gently countered the worldly influence telling me that I needed to attain some great career, not stay at home and mother children. She showed me all I ever needed to know about grace and beauty and contentment. She taught me how to listen, really listen, with my heart as well as my ears. She taught me to love words and reading and writing, and encouraged my first efforts at expressing myself through the written word.

She showed me I was important by the way she dropped everything when I arrived home from school and allowed me to tell her the most insignificant details of my day over a snack. She gave me confidence by listening with her full attention. She taught me the value of touch as she lovingly stroked my hair as I lay with my head in her lap after a rough day. She demonstrated the necessity of spending quiet time with God as I watched her with her Bible open on her lap and a cup of tea on the table by her spot on the couch.

Everything I needed to know, I learned not at the hands of my kindergarten teacher, but by the side of my precious mother. Her sacrifices, her patience, her tenderness all communicated to me that I was loved, I was important, and that my choices mattered. In the process of growing up, I may have wanted to be a doctor, a veterinarian and a singer, but deep down I knew I really only wanted to be one thing when I grew up…I wanted to be just like my mother.

I pray that someday, my children will look on me with the love and respect I hold for my mother, even though I don’t deserve it. I pray that somehow, through the grace of God, they will learn from me what it means to be unconditionally loved and accepted, and that my daughters will grow up desiring this most divine calling of motherhood.

I’m humbly grateful that I had a mother of such “noble character” and this Mother’s Day, I “rise up and bless her” (Proverbs 31:10, 28). Happy Mother’s Day, Mom…I will always love you.

Too Fearful to Enter the Land

Recently, I was reading the story of Joshua and Caleb in the book of Numbers. They were on the brink of entering the Promised Land and sent in ten spies to do some reconnaissance. The spies came back showing off the plentiful fruit and claiming that the land “flowed with milk and honey”. Then they followed this good news with a big “but”… “But the people living there are powerful, and their towns are large and fortified. We even saw giants there!” They fearfully claimed that there was no way they could possibly take this land and that compared to these giants, they were but grasshoppers. These people had just been led by God out of slavery, seen the Red Sea parted by God’s hand and had their every need met by the Lord Himself. Yet, now they were so afraid that they wouldn’t go up to take the land that God had promised would be their possession. So what was the result? Forty years of wandering in the desert, until all of that generation had died and then their children could take the Promised Land. This generation of Israelites completely missed out on God’s amazing blessing for them because they were too fearful to act.

As I was pondering this story, I began thinking about the numerous people who have told me the many reasons why they “can’t” homeschool. I’ve heard everything from “I wasn’t a good student” to “I couldn’t teach my own children” to the oft-repeated “but what about socialization?” When God first put homeschooling on our hearts, we had many fears and questions, too (to read more about our story, click here). We wondered exactly how it would work. We wondered how our children would have any friends. We wondered if we were capable of providing all that our academically gifted children needed. And then we prayed. And God answered those prayers with people sent to encourage us, to teach us, to inspire us. He answered with peace in our hearts about His calling to homeschool. He answered with abundant joy at the prospect of bringing our children home. And now, five years later, we are reaping the bountiful blessings of educating our children at home. If we had let those fears consume us and keep us from answering God’s calling, we would have missed out on so much, just like the Israelites. And those blessings would have skipped this generation of our family and had to wait (not quite forty years, but close!) for the next generation to be called and to courageously step up in faith.

How about you? Could God be calling you to homeschool your children? Maybe you’re feeling frustrated with the secular education they are receiving, or the worldly attitudes that are rubbing off on your children. Maybe you feel that you are losing their hearts and having too little time to teach them the things that you know God wants you to impart to them. If so, I encourage you to at least give God a chance to speak to your heart. Pray and ask Him if homeschooling is what He wants for your family. Although I don’t believe homeschooling is the only way, I know it has profoundly impacted our family for the better. If this is an idea that is tugging at your heart, don’t let fear keep you from stepping out in faith. If God calls you to this wonderful journey, He will bountifully provide all that you need to be successful. All He asks is for you to go forward in obedience and trust. The blessing is waiting for you, just like it was for the Israelites. Don’t let fear keep you from experiencing all that God has in store for you and your children…the land is bountiful, and it’s yours for the taking.

I'm Thankful For...

Every Thanksgiving, we go around the table and share what we are thankful for that year. The answers have ranged from big things (we didn’t move to Kansas City, Grandma is now cancer-free) to small things (a new puppy, chocolate) and from serious to light-hearted. There is never a lack of things to be thankful for, even in years that have been difficult. God’s hand in our lives is always evident and our faith is always strengthened by the sharing of these things. This year, I feel overwhelmed by thankfulness…for who God is, and for what He has done.

Here are just a few of my “thank offerings”:
* I am ever so thankful that God IS…and that I am not Him. Life is so complicated and so full of trials, that I am blissfully thankful that I am not in charge. Thank you, Lord, that you are in control, no matter who is elected President or what is the state of our economy.

* I am deeply thankful that this world is not all there is…that Jesus came and died for me, so that I can look forward to a home in heaven with him.


* I am profoundly thankful for my parents and for the loving Christian home they raised my brother and me in. I am grateful for the things they taught me, for introducing me to Jesus, the unfailing love they offered and the legacy of faith they began in our family. I am thankful for the example of a loving, patient mother who understood the importance of motherhood. I am thankful for my dad, who has a heart the size of Texas and would give a perfect stranger the shirt off his back.

* I am incredibly thankful for my wonderful husband and for all he does for our family. I am grateful for how hard he works to provide for us, never complaining, even on difficult days at work. I am thankful for his unending love and faithfulness, for his wonderful sense of humor that keeps me laughing, and for his dedication to our children and our homeschooling. God has given this man so many talents and I am so thankful that I get to walk by his side and watch as God uses him to further His kingdom. After twenty years, he still makes my heart beat faster when our eyes meet across the room.

* I will always be thankful for my three precious children. I will never take them for granted after the months of wondering if God would grant us children at all…I know they are a miraculous gift and I treasure every day as their mother. I am thankful for Molly, and her valiant faith, her determination to follow God’s will for her life. I am thankful for how she is my right hand, helping me with every task. I treasure our late night talks and our Thursday night giggle fests over dinner at Café Mexicali. She takes my breath away when I watch her dance. I am thankful for Noah and his loving heart, which senses his mom’s every emotion. I am grateful for the opportunity to be a part of raising this remarkable young man who loves God and has big dreams. I am often awestruck at the amazing talents God has given him. I am thankful for Lexi, with her tender heart for both man and animal, and her joyful zest for life. I am grateful for every time she makes me laugh and smile and just enjoy the beauty of the world around me. She makes my heart overflow with joy when I watch her skip into a room, singing a happy tune.

* I am thankful for the church family that God has so graciously provided for us. He led us to just the right place at just the right time when we were hungering for Biblical truth, godly fellowship and a place to serve God together.

Truly, there are so many things to be thankful for this year…I can’t even begin to list them all. On Thursday, as we eat turkey with my brother and his family, my heart will be even more full than my tummy. Thank You, Lord, for all that you have so abundantly provided.