After a 3 year hiatus from blogging (too busy parenting teens to have time to write about it!), I have decided to revive my blog. I look forward to sharing my perspective on mothering as I am at the tail end of my child-raising journey. Nothing could be more beautiful, more full of joy and pain and anguish, than the divine calling of motherhood. I pray my musings will bless you on your own journey, and that you will feel encouraged and equipped!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Too Small Shoes
Have you ever had the misfortune of a pair of shoes that just doesn’t fit? They pinch, they poke, they rub in all the wrong places. You may like the way they look with that certain outfit, but somehow, they just don’t feel right. No matter how many times you wear them, hoping to “break them in”, they just never acquire that feeling of comfort that makes them a favorite. Lately, I’ve been feeling this way…but it has nothing to do with shoes.
Right now it seems that no matter which way I turn, something is chafing at my spirit. I’ve been facing conflict in relationships, health problems for me and my family, and just plain feeling like I don’t belong. The more I come to know what God wants for me and my family, the stronger that feeling becomes. The more convicted we become about how to raise our children (differently from what the world views as “normal”), the more “flack” we take from others. The firmer the stand we take, the more people want to convince us that we are wrong. We make choices that apply only to our family, yet suddenly we’re viewed as “judgmental” by outsiders. We’re accused of things we haven’t done, blamed for things that are not our doing. And suddenly I feel far less comfortable in this world I live in than ever before.
I’ve been pondering this quite a bit…why does the world seem so much stranger to me now? Why do I feel like an outsider in settings that were previously very comfortable? I’ve come to a conclusion…these shoes no longer fit, nor are they supposed to fit. As Jesus said in John 15:9, “If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.” I am not supposed to be comfortable here because this is NOT my home. And the more I grow to understand and reflect the Father’s heart, the less comfortable I will be and quite possibly, the more I will suffer. As I watch my children grow spiritually, I will also watch them suffer the injustice and cruelty of this world…and that hurts even more. My comfort lies in knowing that they are in God’s loving hands, and that He is preparing them for something that matters much more than anything they can find in this world. He is molding and shaping them to be ready for their eternal home in heaven. And there, we will finally feel at home.
Living here on earth is like having your feet crammed into too small shoes. You begin to ache for the moment you can shed that painful footwear and bask in the pleasure of running barefoot through the grass. Ah, what a wonderful feeling that will be.
I am a Colorado homeschool mom of three children. I've been married to my best friend for twenty-seven years and have a passion for helping women to see that motherhood is not just something you stumble into, but a divine calling from God.
What This Means
It is no overstatement that I am shocked at the outcome of this week’s
election. I simply could not have imagined that the American people, in
4 years ago
The Metzger Family Band
The Desires of My Heart
I wanted to pursue the intellectual... You sent me little minds to teach their ABC's. I wanted to study medicine... Now I bandage tiny knees. I valued my independence... You sent me little spirits to teach me to rely on You. I wanted to be beautiful... You adorned me with sticky handprints and peanut butter kisses. I was always in a hurry... You sent me toddlers to teach me to slow down. I was always living for the future... You sent me babies to rock to enjoy the here and now. I longed to hear great symphonies... Now I sing sweet lullabies. I wished to write the great American novel... Now I spin endless bedtime stories for an audience of three. I valued my ability to cope... You sent me children to bring me to my knees.
Thank you, Lord, for giving me the desires of my heart.
--Wendy Metzger 1-17-00
Psalm 37:4"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."
A Colorado Sunset
Photo by my niece Johanna
Favorite Books on Mothering
+Creative Correction by Lisa Whelchel
+Parenting is Heart Work by Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller
+Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining and Bad Attitudes in You and Your Children by Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller