Welcome to my musings...

After a 3 year hiatus from blogging (too busy parenting teens to have time to write about it!), I have decided to revive my blog. I look forward to sharing my perspective on mothering as I am at the tail end of my child-raising journey. Nothing could be more beautiful, more full of joy and pain and anguish, than the divine calling of motherhood. I pray my musings will bless you on your own journey, and that you will feel encouraged and equipped!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Weeping Over Jerusalem

Tonight I am suffering... my heart hurts, I feel sick to my stomach and I feel overwhelming despair. No, I haven’t come down with the flu or any other form of illness. Tonight, the pain is in my soul. Our evening started out on a high note. My husband and I left for an evening out together, to enjoy one of our favorite pastimes. We had tickets to a local dinner theater and were happily anticipating a play we had never before seen and that was touted as one of the funniest and most enjoyable plays to grace the stage. We have season tickets to this dinner theater, and have enjoyed many date nights together watching a play and talking over dinner and dessert.

The play began, and in the first five minutes, my spirits sank. The language in the opening song contained several profanities, the costumes were less than modest and the dancing provocative. As the story progressed, things went from bad to worse. There was more profanity, promiscuity and homosexuality portrayed with each scene. We sank down in our seats and refused to applaud, waiting for the end of the interminable first act so we could pay our bill and escape. As I looked around me, my heart began to ache. The room was full of people laughing and applauding, greeting each new disgusting act with hilarity and approval. In the front row sat a family with a 10-year old girl, celebrating her birthday. I watched as she took in things that were utterly inappropriate for her eyes, and as her parents howled with laughter. A feeling of nausea rose within me, as I realized that we were perhaps the only two people in the entire theater who felt offended by these acts portrayed on the stage. As the first act finally, and thankfully, came to a close, we quickly ate our desserts, paid our bill, and fled. As we walked out into the cool night air, I felt defiled and overcome with sorrow. I thought about Jesus as he wept over Jerusalem, and I began to cry as I mourned for my city.

I couldn’t stop thinking about the children present in that theater, and the awful things that had been implanted in their brains and presented as “normal” and acceptable. I thought how they had seen something that God had created to be sacred and beautiful profaned, both by the immoral sex presented and the rampant homosexuality. I looked at my husband and said, “I hate that this is the world we have to raise our children in!” Now, I’m sure that most of the people in the theater tonight were nice people, many of whom were possibly even Christians. Yet, they were so numbed by the world to what is profane, that they laughed at and enjoyed the spectacle, just like anyone else. As far as I know, we were the only ones to leave the theater at intermission…why wasn’t anyone else offended? I’m sure that some would label us old-fashioned or even judgmental for our disgust. Yet, God makes it clear to us that we are called to be holy and set apart and that we are to have nothing to do with the darkness.

Alan and I have commented many times lately that the older we get, the more conservative we get. As our children have gotten older, we are even more concerned with the things they are exposed to and how to counteract the culture. We have less and less desire to be a part of this culture, and more and more to know God and to live within His parameters. We see that this world has caused nothing but pain and sorrow and regret, and that only by shaping our lives to His will can we truly have peace. As we were getting ready to leave our table tonight, we overheard a comment by a lady at the table below us. She said to her companion, “Isn’t it wonderful to have an evening out filled with laughter.” Laughter that stems from polluted thinking isn’t refreshing to the soul…it is like the hysterical giggling of an overtired child which often deteriorates into tears.

It was an eerie feeling tonight…looking around the room at a bunch of people lost in hilarity and feeling like the only sober person in a room full of drunks. I felt as if we were the only ones who could feel the darkness and see that the man behind the curtain was really a horrible and bloodthirsty demon named Satan, instead of a nice, safe, “Wizard of OZ”.

I definitely don’t think we’re in Eden anymore…and I can’t imagine how Jesus must weep over us when he looks down on the moral cesspool we live in, full of people who are selling pieces of their soul for a little entertainment. I am so incredibly weary of having sin shoved down my throat every time I turn around. I am tired of being sold a bill of goods that says that promiscuous sex and homosexual relationships and anything that makes you feel good is okay. I’m tired of seeing children exposed to ugliness and profanity and immersed in darkness instead of light. When will we stand up and say, “Enough!”?

I feel a little like Dorothy, wishing I could tap my heels together and say, “There’s no place like home…” and be transported to heaven, where all is pure and holy, and laughter springs from the joy of being with our Heavenly Father, not from something that leaves us feeling defiled and unclean. Tonight, I am weeping for Fort Collins, and for America, and I am certain that Jesus is weeping with me.

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