The Answer Has Come

Picture with me, for a moment, what life was like for the Jewish people 2000 years ago.  They were living under Roman rule.  While technically, they were “free”, in reality, the Romans had great control over many aspects of their life.  The Romans pronounced that all people had religious freedom, political freedom, and freedom of thought, yet they maintained strict control.   The Jewish self-government reported to the authority of the local Roman government, which reported to Rome. They were heavily taxed by the Roman government and there was a great disparity between the rich and poor.  The Jews had great contempt and hatred for the Romans…they were definitely unwilling subjects of the Roman rule.  The Jews believed in ONE God, while the surrounding culture believed in many gods.  The Romans taught that all religions could live compatibly with one another in peace.  (Hmmm, I wonder if they used the words tolerance and diversity?)  The Jews were anxiously awaiting their promised Messiah, whom they believed would come and save them both spiritually and politically.  They thought that the Saviour that God had promised would come and relieve them of the foreign oppression they had suffered under for centuries.  I’m sure they pictured some great political leader who would come and right all the wrongs they had suffered and topple the Roman Empire.   It had also been 400 years since God had sent them a prophet to remind them of His love for them.  It was a time of darkness for them…a time of clinging to the hope they had that God would break His silence and send them relief from their sufferings.  

Does this sound at all familiar?  It’s been less than a month since our country held its national election.  I know as my family sat that night and watched the results come in, our spirits sank.  We watched as our nation voted for people and policies that are diametrically opposed to our beliefs as Christians.  What began as a party atmosphere at our house ended with us on our knees, begging God to change our country and bring us back to Him.  We grieved as it became obvious how far our country has fallen from its God-fearing foundation.  As we processed our emotions that night, God made something very clear to me.  My hope is not, and never will be, in a political leader.  It is not in laws, or government, or any man.  Like the Jews, we may be unwilling subjects of a government that protects the right to kill our unborn babies, but not those babies’ right to live.   We may groan under the heavy taxation enforced on us by that same government.  We may hold our belief in the One God as sacred, while our culture tries to teach us that all religions are equal and that there are many ways to spiritual fulfillment.   We may imagine, and even pray for, a great political leader to rise up and rescue us from this downhill slide into a country that will eventually lose God’s hand of blessing.  Just like the Jews of 2000 years ago, we may feel a sense of despair and hopelessness.

BUT, we have one advantage over the Jewish people of long ago.  We know that the answer to our problems has already come.  We know that the Messiah is not going to be a Republican or a Democrat or a member of the Tea Party, but the very Son of God himself.  We know that 2000 years ago, on a night much like this one, God heard the cries of the Jews who begged Him for salvation, and He answered.  Not with a warrior, nor a political champion, but with a Child.  He answered with the cry of a tiny baby, born to a poor family, to a mother and father willing to be obedient to all that God had asked of them.   He gave them the greatest gift of all time…the gift of His very own son, sent to bring hope and peace and joy into a world full of turmoil and anguish.   Let’s read the most beautiful story in all of history…

Luke 2:1-20  “In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to his own town to register.

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

 And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night.  An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.  But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.  Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.  This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest,
    and on earth, peace to men on whom his favor rests.”

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them.  But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.  The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

I know that this time of year, it has become almost impossible to be still and really contemplate what is truly important at Christmas.  We bustle around, decorating and shopping and baking and attending our children’s many Christmas recitals and plays and concerts.  We worry and fret about finding the perfect gifts for our extended families, and getting the Christmas cards out on time, and we have so many expectations of what the perfect Christmas will look like, that we completely forget to sit and be still and gaze at the baby in the Manger who came to give up His very life to bring us hope and reconciliation and forgiveness.  Many times we get through the Christmas season and are left feeling empty and disappointed, as though the entire season passed us by without our having a moment to enjoy it.  

Christmas is NOT about all the activities and parties and things that distract us, but about one simple thing:  a tiny baby, come to earth to give us the greatest gift of all, HOPE for a future in heaven with our Lord.  This year, I hope that you will not just celebrate Christmas, but that you will find a way to celebrate Advent…the coming of our Lord.  This advent is not just something that happened in the past, when Jesus was born.  In celebrating Advent, we celebrate Christ’s coming to earth as a baby, His continuous presence as He reigns in our hearts and walks with us through our struggles, and His future second coming, when He will take us to Heaven to live with him forever.   This is the true story of Christmas, and it is one that gives us a real reason to celebrate this year!  If we can keep this truth foremost in our thoughts, then we can find Him in all that we do this next month.  We can do more than just celebrate one special day…we can anticipate eternity.  We can see him in the symbols of Christmas:  His everlasting love symbolized by the evergreen trees, a reminder that He is the light of the world when we see the pretty Christmas lights, the forgiveness of our sins thru his blood, shed on the cross, in the color red that is everywhere this time of year, and a reminder of  His perfect gift to us every time we give or receive a present.  No matter what you face this Christmas season, whether it is serious illness or missing a loved one or a broken relationship that desperately needs mending, or just plain busyness and distraction, please remember that absolutely nothing can separate you from the greatest love ever offered to man.  Romans 8:37-39 says, “No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.  And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.  No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.’   Did you catch that?  “Nothing in all creation”…no matter what circumstances you are facing this year or how heavy your heart may feel, absolutely nothing can separate you from God’s love for you, expressed in the gift of His son.

This Christmas, when you see these three words, remember that Jesus came to bring us JOY (by setting us free from our sins), HOPE (of an eternity in heaven with Him), and PEACE (because we can never be separated from His love, no matter our circumstances).  Let’s eagerly anticipate His return while we celebrate this very special season.  Romans 15:13 says, “ May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”   Now, that’s not a typical Christmas verse, but doesn’t it express what we should be experiencing this time of year?  I encourage you to purpose right now, before the season really begins, to set aside just a few minutes a day to sit quietly and think about a Saviour who came to earth as a baby to bring you salvation, and who will return some day to take you home.

I’d like to close with a link to my very favorite Christmas hymn, “Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus”.  It expresses such a longing for Jesus to come and never fails to bring me to tears.  May our hearts be filled with such a longing this Christmas, and may we experience His hope, peace, and joy in a new and amazing way this Christmas.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAGE1Es8IPs

Thirty-Six Days

I can no longer pretend it isn’t happening. No more burying my head in the sand, pretending not to see what is looming on the horizon. Thirty-six days. That’s all that remain…thirty-six days until it happens. The very thought of it makes my throat close up, my heart ache and my eyes well up with tears. What is it, you ask? No, it’s not the end of the world, or the loss of a loved one or a catastrophic event. It is simply the graduation of my first-born. “Oh, is that all?” you laugh. Yes, that is all, but so much more. I had no idea it would be so hard for me to enter this season of letting go. I find I’m so much better at the holding on. Last fall, when my oldest daughter began her senior year, I found myself tearing up very easily, and very often. At one point, eating dinner out alone with her, we began talking about graduation. Molly looked at me and very sympathetically said, “Are you going to cry again, Mom?” My answer…tears. Yes, I guess I am.

As her senior year progressed and we went through the usual progression of college mail, senior pictures and discussions of her future, I managed to live mostly in denial. Whenever we began to discuss what her homeschool graduation ceremony would look like, I would manage to put off that discussion for another time. When we discussed college, and scholarships and majors, I managed to think about it unemotionally, as if it were about someone other than my own daughter. I even made it through our first campus visit with enthusiasm and a sense of nostalgia for my own college days. I designed graduation announcements and made a list of recipients, discussed travel plans with family members and even began to plan the ceremony itself.

But lurking somewhere under the surface were unwelcome thoughts about the “lasts” we were experiencing with this child. Our special family trip to Hawaii last November had a shadow of “last” about it. Would this be the last time we traveled to our favorite place as a family of five? Would our next family trip (a much beloved tradition) be as a family of four? How many more Christmases would be celebrated with all our children around our tree? As I filled out my planner for homeschool, I realized that next year there would only be two columns, instead of three. As I began to research curricula for next year, I was searching for one-third less material. And finally, as I could put it off no longer, we began to fill out graduation announcements and order cake and plan the ceremony. And I began to let myself grieve.

As I write this, I am sitting in a hotel room in Houston. My husband graciously brought me along on his business trip to give me a few days of rest. I am comfortably ensconced in a lovely hotel room with a giant desk to work on and a picture window with a view of the woods. The day is grey and drizzly and it matches my feelings as I write, uninterrupted, sorting through the feelings I have so successfully squelched for the last few months. And I ponder…why am I grieving so fiercely? It’s not like anything that major will change. Molly will be attending a local university and living at home. I’m not losing her, not having to bear leaving her at a strange place and not seeing her for months at a time. So, why is my heart so sad?

I think it is this: I see it as the beginning of the end of something beautiful. I have loved being a mother more than words can say. From the moment I first heard those long-awaited words “you’re pregnant”, I have thrived as a mother. I love being with my children, I love teaching my children, I love sharing their hearts and their lives and their dreams. I love teaching about motherhood, and writing about motherhood, and encouraging other mothers on their journey. When Molly graduates, it means the others aren’t far behind, that someday, I will be finished. My children will be grown, and there will be no do-overs. I won’t get another chance to fix the things I did wrong, to re-live the chances I missed, or to relish the moments I overlooked. For better or worse, my job will be done. And oh, how that grieves my heart.

And yet, I know that this is the point. This is why I missed all those nights of sleep, why I dried so many tears and bandaged so many knees and cheered so many successes. To raise children who love God and follow Him was the goal all along. And as I watch these precious little souls blossom into adulthood with a faith that will sustain them all the days of their lives, I smile. And in the whispers of the silence, I hear a blessing from my Father, graciously saying “Well done.” And in the midst of my grieving, I am comforted. So, while I will undoubtedly shed a few more tears before we’re done, I will also rejoice as I watch my first-born begin her adult journey, knowing that God has good plans for her future, and for mine. So, for now, I will try to enjoy every single one of those thirty-six days, and not waste a single moment.

Just Yesterday...

I remember when, as a young mother, older women would repeatedly say, “Enjoy every moment…it goes so fast.” And inside, I would think, “Really? Because it seems like years since I had a full night’s sleep.” Not that I wasn’t enjoying every minute…but I sure was tired. Sometimes the days seemed long, when I was home all alone with three little ones needing every ounce of my attention and nurturing. Sometimes the nights seemed even longer. I never wished away the moments, although I did occasionally think “Okay, I am REALLY done with potty training now!” Sometimes the weeks seemed long, when my husband traveled on business and I tackled the parenting alone. Sometimes the seasons seemed long, when we entered a difficult phase with one of the children. But then something would happen to give me pause, like a baby learning to walk, a child losing his first tooth, or a kindergartener heading off to school, looking so grownup with their carefully chosen backpack on their back. And I’d think, “No, wait! It’s all going too fast!” And as each year passed, and my babies got older, it seemed that the calendar pages just started to fly. Soon we went from having one in school, to having three in homeschool. Overnight, it seemed, we went from being young parents with small children, to (gasp!) middle-aged parents with teenagers.

And today, we enter a new phase…that of parents to an adult. Eighteen years ago today, our precious firstborn entered the world and we became parents. I remember taking her home from the hospital and my husband and I looking at each other in disbelief that we were really solely responsible for this tiny little creature. Oh, and it couldn’t possibly be eighteen years ago…it was just yesterday, wasn’t it? It was just yesterday that we prayed desperate prayers that God would give us a child. It was just yesterday that she finally joined our family, the answer to a thousand prayers. It was just yesterday that she sang her way through our house, one minute being Cinderella and the next Snow White. It was just yesterday that she headed off to school and broke my heart when she came home with the oft-repeated phrase, “But, Mommy, Mrs. S. does it THIS way.” It was just yesterday when we pulled her out of school to continue educating her at home and we battled for a year before she became content with homeschooling. It had to be just yesterday when she fervently pledged her life to Christ and was baptized in our Jacuzzi tub. I’m certain that it was just yesterday when she started to grow into this lovely young woman who took my breath away when she danced. It was just yesterday when I saw her all decked out in a Civil War ball gown, with her hair in a beautiful updo and her makeup so perfect, heading off to the ball on her daddy’s arm. It was just yesterday that we began planning her future, with college choices and scholarship applications and late night talks about life and love. And now, here she stands, a beautiful young woman with a passionate heart and a determined outlook, ready to take those first steps into her adulthood. And I think my heart will overflow.

And now I know that those little old ladies were wise beyond measure…time really does fly and there is nothing we can do to slow it down. Those endless nights of rocking and feeding that tiny little baby will soon turn into late nights of waiting for your teenager to come home from work, and praying for her safety on the snow-covered streets. Those days of thinking you’ll never have an adult conversation again will soon turn into late night gabfests with your almost adult child. The carefree years of thinking they will always eat at your table, or be with you on vacation, or celebrate Christmas around your tree will all too soon be days of waving goodbye as she drives off to work, or watching proudly as he dons his cap and gown, or wiping away a tear as she walks down that aisle dressed in white to begin her life with another. You know what? The little old ladies were right.

So, as I celebrate my sweet girl today, I will be listening a little more closely, taking a little more time to just talk, and remembering each precious moment. And even as I grieve the “lasts”, I will be rejoicing in the satisfaction of watching a little girl grow into a woman who loves her family and her Lord and is ready to take those tentative first steps into the rest of her life. God be with you, my precious Molly. We are so proud of the lovely young lady you have become. You are a treasure and a gift, and your daddy and I will love you forever.

To read Molly's thoughts on turning eighteen...

A Legacy of Faithfulness - Part II

Recent statistics have shown that our children are abandoning their faith in record numbers after leaving home. One such study claims that 75-88% of children raised in Christian homes will leave their faith by the end of their freshman year in college. That number should terrify us and motivate us to reexamine what we are doing in our own homes to pass down a legacy of faith to our children. Obviously, we are failing our children in the most important aspect of parenting. So, what do we do? Do we just hope for the best and stumble blindly toward the finish line of parenting, hoping that they will “turn out okay”? We would never accept this answer if the question were our children’s education. We spend an incredible amount of time and money making sure they get the best possible education, and we spend countless hours (and dollars) taking them to dance classes, sports practices and music lessons to give them every advantage. Why, then, have we placed so little importance on their spiritual upbringing?

We are raising a generation of children who have no spiritual heritage. Because of this, we are sending them out into the world as easy prey for the one who seeks to destroy them. Even Karl Marx recognized this, saying, “A people without a heritage are easily persuaded.” We need to be giving our children a strong foundation for their faith, making sure they know what they believe, why they believe it, and that they are part of a legacy going back two thousand years to the birth of a Savior in a humble manger in Bethlehem. So, how does this happen?

God makes it clear to us in Deuteronomy 6 exactly how this is to take place. He says, “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” God doesn’t say to casually impart His commandments to our children, or to take them to church once a week and hope that they somehow “catch” our faith. He says to impress them on our children. I looked up “impress” in the dictionary to get a better feel for what that word means. It means “to affect deeply or strongly in mind or feelings; to fix deeply or firmly on the mind or memory; and to urge, as something to be remembered or done.” To me, this implies something very purposeful and serious. First, God commands us to love Him completely; then, He commands us to pass on this command to our children. We should be teaching our children about Him at every opportunity, not just at church, or on Christmas and Easter. Talking about spiritual matters should permeate our days, including discussing such things at the dinner table, in the car on those many drives to baseball practice and in those heart-to-heart talks when their hearts are aching with hurt or frustration. When you read the newspaper at breakfast, talk about what you see in the world. Help them to recognize differences in worldview and how that affects what people see and believe. If we are not purposeful in making this happen, the years will fly by and our children will be gone…and possibly, so will their faith.

We also must be faithful in teaching them truth…that there is ONE truth, not many, and it comes from the Word of God. We must teach them to search Scripture to see if what they are being taught is true. We must make sure the education they are receiving is filled with truth, not lies. We must give them an appreciation for history and help them to recognize God’s hand of providence as they study stories of the past. As Os Guinness says, “Those who don’t know history have no sense of identity, and no sense of wisdom as they explore where they’re going to go. Without history, we’re lost!” Deuteronomy 32:7 tells us to “Remember the days of old; consider the generations long past. Ask your father and he will tell you, your elders, and they will explain to you.” We need to pass on stories of God’s faithful people and how they persevered through trials, often giving their lives rather than surrender their faith. We need to instill in them a passion for truth in doctrine, as well. The Nehemiah Institute released a study showing that less than 10% of churched teens have a true, Biblical worldview. The world is apparently doing a whole lot better job of instilling its worldview into our children than we are…and that is shameful.

As we raise our children, we need to be disciplining them in ways that are intended for long-term results, not short-term peace. Just as pacifying a screaming child with candy at the grocery store gives a short-term answer (we are no longer embarrassed!) but leads to long-term disaster (a disobedient child who learns they can get whatever they want by misbehaving), our “quick-fixes” in spiritual matters often fail as well. While the world teaches us that we should desire happy children, God teaches us that our goal should be holy children. Be purposeful and persevering in looking to the end goal, a young adult who is surrendered to God and to His will. Let’s give our children a sense of vision and a purpose much bigger than themselves. Let’s raise children who will change the world for God, not lose their faith the minute they are no longer under our supervision. Let’s pass down a legacy of faithfulness which will continue for a thousand generations. Let’s wake up and take responsibility for our families before it is too late.

What kind of legacy are you leaving your children?

“Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments.”
Deut. 7:9

A Legacy of Faithfulness - Part I

A few months ago, we threw a big celebration. The occasion was my parents’ fiftieth wedding anniversary and our goal was to host a party that was memorable, fun, and that honored my parents’ love for each other through the years. The party was in a 50’s theme, complete with poodle skirts and swing dancing. We performed a skit, showing memorable scenes of my parents’ fifty years together, which brought much laughter and maybe even a few tears to the family and friends gathered to honor this much-loved couple. While the party was tons of fun, we also had a message that we desperately hoped to convey.

In recent years, the idea of legacy has had a profound impact on my family. We have come to understand that God intends for us to do much more than raise our children to be successful adults. We believe that God calls us to pass down much more than life skills or money-making talents, inheritances or college funds; He calls us to pass on a legacy of godliness and devotion to His will. If we raise our children to be fiscally responsible and well-educated, we still may have failed. Even if we raise our children to be hard workers and popular with their peers, it still isn’t enough.

Over and over again in the Old Testament, God promises something to us. He promises His faithful love “to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments (Deut. 7:9).” This verse has had a profound impact on my family. We have begun praying for this blessing for our family, praying not just for our children, but for our grandchildren, and our great-grandchildren, and our great-great-grandchildren. We pray for this blessing for generations we will never meet, but hope to influence. My parents pray this prayer faithfully for their grandchildren and for their grandchildren’s grandchildren, knowing that the prayers they pray now will have profound influence on the generations to come, long after they are gone. Our family legacy that we pray desperately to pass on to our children is simple: we pray that they will serve God faithfully and passionately for a thousand generations. If we have have nothing material to give our children when we are gone, yet succeed in teaching them this, we will have succeeded beyond all measure.

As a young mother, I think my vision for my kids went something like this: “I hope to raise them to love God, be financially stable and well-educated.” Some days, it went like this: “I just hope to get this kid potty-trained before kindergarten.” Other days, I despaired of ever raising them right. The vision was cloudy and changeable, and often I lived my daily life without really thinking of a vision at all. Now, my vision for them is much, much bigger, and much clearer: “I pray that my kids will change the world. I pray my kids will have lots of kids themselves and teach them to change the world for Christ. I pray that my family will serve the Lord God faithfully for a thousand generations.” I have started a book that I hope will be passed down in our family for generations. It is called “The Metzger Family Standing Stones”, representing the idea that God set forth in the Old Testament of building monuments to remind the Israelites of what God had done for them. In this book, I plan to write stories of the Metzger family…stories of God’s provision, His faithfulness and His everlasting love. I envision reading these stories to my grandchildren someday, helping their parents to teach them of a very special legacy. We will record our family stories for future generations, so they can see exactly how God’s faithful love spans the generations.

My parents have begun a beautiful thing in their fifty years of marriage. They came to know Christ early in their married life, and as they grew in their love for Him, they passed on that desire to serve Him to their children. As we grew up, married and had children of our own, we, too, grew in our love for Him, and now we seek to pass on that legacy of love to our children. I am blessed beyond measure to have been given such a beginning, and I pray that my husband and I will be diligent and purposeful in passing on the torch of faithfulness to the next generation.

I Choose You

Last week, our family traveled to Indiana to spend Thanksgiving with my brother and his family. We were thrilled to have some family time together and couldn’t wait to meet the newest member of our family, a little girl named Emma. Emma is the second child to be adopted from China into our extended family. Emma’s new mom is my sister-in-law’s sister (confused yet?), so technically she is no relation to me. But I have never been one to care about the “rules” that define a family. My husband and I are close to Emma’s parents, having known them most of our lives. Our kids call them “aunt” and “uncle” and we fulfill the same role for these precious two little girls from China. We mutually decided that we were family and our kids were cousins. So it was with great expectation that we drove the endless miles to Indiana, anticipating the first time we would hold this amazing gift from God.

The first time we saw Emma was when we met at a portrait studio, hoping to update the “cousin” picture that we each have hanging in our homes. The studio was crowded and noisy, being the day before Thanksgiving. Little Emma, who is twenty-one months old, was very overwhelmed by the crush of people, the flashes of light and all these eager relatives wanting to hold her. She is still adjusting to her new life, having been with her new parents only a few months. She was seventeen months old when they got her, and was very attached to her caregiver, making the transition a painful one for her. Many, many tears were shed over the next days and continue to be shed as she adjusts to her new life. While I wanted desperately to hold her and kiss her, I held back, seeing the uncertainty in her eyes. I waved at her from afar, delighting in her sweet face and adorable, toddling steps. The photo session will go down in our family history as quite an experience…the best one we managed to get was all the other kids smiling and Emma screaming her head off. All that mattered to me is that we managed to record a moment in our family history—the addition of a new cousin. The kids will always treasure that picture and tell of that picture shoot forever, saying, “Remember when?”

The next few days, the closest I could get to Emma was when I offered her a finger to hold as she toddled around the house. She wouldn’t let me hold her, but was delighted to go walking, holding on to my outstretched hand. We walked, back and forth, through the house, again and again. My heart was full as I memorized each precious feature of this miracle baby who had joined our family. My arms ached as I longed to hold her, but I determined to be patient and give this little girl what she needed until she felt safe enough to accept me.

Finally, on our last night in Indy, as I was sitting on the couch at Emma’s house, she came into the room, carrying a book. She looked up at me and smiled her beautiful, sweet smile. She reached up and handed me her book and then lifted her arms to me, asking to be held. I gently picked her up and placed her on my lap and she snuggled deep into me and looked up at me with that angelic smile, waiting for me to read to her. I literally felt my heart melt with love for this child. I held her close and read to her for as long as she would sit. We read about Australian animals over and over and over and I sang a silly song to her about the Kookaburra, delighting in her laughter. With that moment, Emma was sealed forever in my heart as a member of our family.

As I’ve pondered this experience, I had a moment of clarity. While Emma is not biologically a part of my family, she is now a member in full standing of the Blake/Richardson/Metzger clan. Her parents chose her, took her in, and love her completely. Her aunts and uncles adore her and her cousins delight in her. What a beautiful picture of what God has done for us. While we were sinners, having a nature that was completely opposed to His, He chose us to be a part of His family. He loves us, adores us, and delights in us. When we lift our hands to Him, His heart melts with love for us, just as mine did for little Emma. He has given us full standing as sons and daughters of the King and is preparing a home for us to live with Him forever. He has adopted us into His family and given us everything that we need. Just as Emma’s parents took her into their lives and their hearts, God has taken us into His. What a precious gift little Emma is to our family, and what an overwhelming gift God has given to us by choosing us to be His children. Thank you, Emma, for coming into our family and for showing us a picture of how very much our God loves us.

“God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children.” Galatians 4:5

Why We Homeschool

To me, the beginning of the school year is somewhat reminiscent of New Year’s Day. It is a time of planning, reflecting and setting goals for the next year, a time of evaluating why we homeschool and how to do it more effectively. It’s a time for remembering how and why God called us to homeschool and a chance to reestablish His sovereignty over our home and school. It’s a time to pray, to dream, and to renew our commitment to educating and discipling our children.

There are many reasons why we have chosen to home educate our children. When we began this journey nearly 6-1/2 years ago, our primary motivation was to give our children a better education that was more suited to their particular learning needs. Our school principal was the one who suggested that we consider homeschooling, as he felt that the school could not supply the academic challenge that our children required. After much prayer and research (if you want to hear our story, click here), we made the choice to remove our children from the public school we attended, and to continue their education at home. We determined that our children would be better off academically to have a customized program, designed to meet their individual interests and needs. Six years later, however, our primary motivation has changed. While we still aim to provide an excellent academic program for our children, we now have become convicted that our primary reason for homeschooling is to have our children in an environment where God is sovereign (not the government), so that we are able to disciple our children in His ways and prepare them for life as whole-hearted, sold-out servants of Christ.

A couple of years ago, my husband and I had the profound experience of hearing a man named Voddie Baucham speak. I can still hear his passionate pleas for parents to wake up and devote themselves wholly to raising children who fear and love the Lord above all else. His main argument for home education was the very familiar Scripture which states “Render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s and unto God what is God’s”. He stated that our children belong to the Lord, not to the government, which seeks to educate them in a humanistic, and oftentimes atheistic environment. He further stated that we should not be surprised that when we give our children over to “Rome” that they are returned to us as “Romans”. This man’s words resonated in our hearts and inspired us to devote ourselves even more completely to homeschooling our children. My husband was so inspired by this man that he began to involve himself more fully in our children’s education, in spite of the fact that he works very long, very stressful days at his job. We firmly believe that our children belong first of all to their Creator, and that He instructs us to teach them His ways all day long, in all that we do. Deuteronomy 6:4-9 says, “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” If we intended to take this seriously, we needed to spend as much time as possible with our children in the short time that they are under our roof. For us, this seems impossible if we are sending them off to school for 6-8 hours per day.

While our experiences with our public school were relatively good (with one major exception—our oldest daughter’s fourth grade year), we still spent many hours undoing what had been taught, both academically and behaviorally. We watched as our children began to respect their teacher’s authority above our own (one of our children would constantly argue, “But Mrs. X does it THIS way”), learned to look down on children of other ages, and picked up worldly attitudes and ways of treating others. In spite of being in a school that valued “Character Education”, their character was being slowly eroded. Because this character education was taught apart from the character of Jesus Christ, it failed. (For a very interesting look at this topic, please watch the movie “Time Changer”). While our children had opportunities to be a Christian witness at school (and accepted those opportunities gladly and effectively), there were many more opportunities to be affected by the worldliness surrounding them all day long. It was like being the only little fish trying to swim upstream in a torrent of fish racing the other direction.

Another Scripture that we firmly believe in as the basis for our homeschooling is Proverbs 13:20-- “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.” While many people argue that our children will suffer from the lack of “socialization”, we believe God’s word teaches us to be selective in our children’s companions. If they are constantly surrounded by foolishness, they, too, will become foolish. If we surround them with children who are well-grounded in God’s word and who also love Him wholeheartedly, and also provide them with adults who are wise in their walk with God, we believe that they, too, will grow wise. In my experience, most of the homeschooled children we have met are very poised and well-spoken. They know how to converse with adults and children, and are compassionate to those younger than themselves instead of looking down on them. Our oldest daughter’s employer has stated that he prefers homeschooled children because of their polite and respectful manner and strong work ethic.

Another reason we choose to homeschool is that we believe that by educating our children at home, we can be much more effective in raising our children to be world-changers instead of world-conformers. We can choose materials that teach the TRUTH instead of having them subjected to such lies as evolution, revisionist history and humanism. We can teach them history with a view toward God’s providence through the ages. We can spend quality time each day teaching our children to read and cherish God’s word, praying together and giving them opportunities to develop the gifts and talents that God has given them. We can educate our children in light of eternity, not with an eye toward attaining all the standards set by some school board who doesn’t share our faith or our goals for our children. Instead of hoping our children will grow up to have a successful career, or make a lot of money, we pray that our children will grow up to give themselves over to God in whatever arena He asks them to serve. As God makes His plan clear to our children, we will do our best to equip them to follow His will.

Our family has been blessed beyond measure by our decision to homeschool. Our relationships are closer, deeper and more meaningful because we spend so much time together. Our children are more obedient now because we’ve had the time to faithfully train them. Our life, while still busy, is now more flexible because we are not at the mercy of an institution’s schedule. Our children are happier, more contented and more confident without the constant crushing of their spirits by other children’s cruelty and spitefulness. Does homeschooling make family life suddenly perfect and without conflict? Of course not…it would be ridiculous to expect that. It does, however, give us the tools and relationships to deal with whatever arises in our home.

I will be forever grateful that the Lord led us to homeschooling, in spite of our strong resistance to the idea. He knew what was best for our children, and for our family, and has bountifully provided all that we’ve needed to prosper as a homeschooling family. I know that when our children were involved in the public school system, I felt threatened and judged by our many homeschooling friends. I felt that they looked down on us for choosing public school and deemed us “lesser” parents for our choice. I resented their judgment and did not listen to what they had to share. I now know that I was mistaken, and that I misjudged them, as well. I took their intent to be judgment, when instead they just wished to share the glorious blessings they had found by entering into homeschooling. They were passionately in love with the path God had set them on and wanted us to share in it, too. Now that I am on the other side of the fence, so to speak, I understand their heart. I, too, have been falsely deemed “judgmental”, when all I wanted to do was share my heart. My prayer is that we will all be open to God’s calling for our children, wherever it may lead us, and that we will listen to each other with open hearts, instead of defensiveness and anger. For those of you reading this, please know that my intent here is to simply share why WE have chosen to homeschool and how much it has blessed our family. It is in no way a judgment or condemnation of your choices. God has entrusted your children to YOU, not to me, to decide what is best for them. My earnest prayer for you is that you will passionately seek His will for your children and be open to His leading…for He alone knows exactly what they need.